“spasms”

spasms of the heart

beg the mind to focus

listen to it, listen

it is struggling

help it calm

down

 

I am the thunder

people hear when the storm howls

rain over the earth that drowns

and nurtures lives

I miss something I never had

there is nothing that will hurt more

without theĀ intention to hurt

than a love unfulfilled

looked into a mirror today

a bruise on my arm

now I know it is there

I cannot stop pressing into the clotted blood

pressuring the veins

demanding the pain

welcoming the awareness of how I am whole

just slightly bruised

I read Gatsby many times

but I never really understood the green light

until you become mine

it only gets easier to remember

when you try to forget

 

 

people only see when she is happy

because when she is sad

she makes herself invisible

when she needs to be seen the most

sometimes I imagine a different life

I snap back everytime confused

because you are not in it

does that mean I want that

or do I shake the thought away out of terror?

 

are you there

the smoke in the air causes spasm

in my nerves

they

jump

everywhere

looking for a click

somewhere untouched before

away from you

 

 

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