what if

what if

by pinky lui


you are deciding left or right

a dilemma in the morning traffic

you blink the indicator to the right and head

for the fast lane

and you almost miss the traffic light ahead

at the corner of your eyes the amber light is blinking and urging

and chased by the green light

then you think this left looks better

or maybe again this right

but what if the road was blocked anyway?


you are deciding black

or white, or even grey would do

of all the colors to choose from

the rainbow says “screw you” and runs away

you are standing between the mirror and the closet door half opened

one tells and one sells

but what if they both lied?


you are deciding yes or

no for the seven-year-old dog in the cage

its soulful eyes seem to condemn you for picking a pup of five months

it wails with such intensity you thought for one second that it tells

then you with the trembling pup in your arms

dozing to a dream of home

remember you pick one life over another

but you think you still save one and you did a good deed

but what if you could not sleep at night?


you are deciding coffee

or chocolate because tea was never your thing

you want coffee because it is so bitter without the milk

it numbs all else and you feel only that bitterness

but chocolate can soften all decadence

then you see the teabags are on sale and maybe they would settle

but what if the tea was not strong enough?


you are deciding him or

her or both or you or all

greedy as you are and the world is selfish

where choices have to be made one at a time

you make a list of pros and cons and make a chart of why and why not

then you remember they are deciding too

you go ahead with whoever decides first

but what if you are deciding none?


then I am a victim of free will

should you then be proud of your decisiveness and I clap for you

but what if you were wrong?


i know you are deciding still

but it was already settled.


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